Tales of Tamar

Once upon a time,
there was a princess. Young and lovely.
She was abducted by a fearsome dragon.
Then the dragon grilled her and that was it.

Once upon a time,
there were young Lords. Strong and proud.
They grew up and became old and stronger.
Some became wise, other stayed naive.

Once upon a ...

ah, yes, I can imagine that you would like my big mouth. After all, on the battlefield you got your ass roally kicked by my ancestor.

No doubt you took lots of his land after he had to leave, but when he was there, you counldn´t even conquer a coastal town even though you came with huge armies on ...

Godefroy,

you are unfit to service my chamber pot so kindly shut up.

Elwim,

also grade Ihr müsst fragen. Werft Ihr doch Biffordicus vor er würde Euer Land annektieren. Er hat vielleicht grade mal 10 Morgen Land und Ihr landet neben seiner Stadt und fangt an zu annektieren...

Die ersten alten Lords waren hier in weniger als einem Jahr...

Aber ich versteh schon. Da ...

due to popular demand in german:

Ich verlasse mein Reich da es keinen Grund gibt noch länger hier zu bleiben.
Der Grund für mein Verlassen findet man bei den alten Lords. Denn die Götter hatten uns weder eine schützende Grenze, noch ein Verbot der Landnahme für alte Lords gegeben.

Das Resultat war ...

Greetings,

I am writing this here and not in last wills, so that other Lords may see it also.

I am leaving my land since there is no point in me remaining.
And the reason is old lords. The gods didnt give us a border so that no old Lords can come.

And what did the old lords do? Instead of ...

On a stormy midsommersnight, Lord Edmund Blackadder II once again took custody of a small village.

Fear, for I have returned...

...this time I might actually get my hands on some weapons before the world and his brother attacks me...

Greetings Bifford (Deverry),

then have a good time. Hell is lovely this time of the year

(offtopic) When you have stocked up on zeal in New Zealand and have become a real zealot, then maybe we can start again. Together we can rule this miserable place )

So long.

My good Godefroy,

I am not sick. I´m in love (not with you)

And you ask why I attacked your port town? Does retaliation ring a bell?

Let´s not forget that you declared war on me and then always tried to annex my port town. I had no ships back then but I always kept the town. Now I have ships and ...

Skar,

shut up already, will you?

No of course you won´t.

You say that Charras took a town that was promised to Mythor? Well, so did you.

So quit your phony bitching around with Charras. We all know he has joined your precious order (or a joint-venture between the church and the order) so don´t ...

ok, since there are lots of misunderstandings, here is the translation from an expert source:

Oh Medusa,

Ihr seit hübsch wie die Nacht,
unvergänglich wie Unkraut,

die Stoppeln auf Eurer Oberlippe erinnern mich an ein abgebranntes Kornfeld im Herbst,
Euer komisches Haar glänzt wie Nasenhaare nach ...

Skar,

what is it to you?

Charras attacked Wallenstein so why should he give it away?

You will not give away land for free what you took from me (only to vassals) and the same goes for the order.

Or can someone tell me a reason why the order has not given away a single acre that they took from me ...

Greetings Skar,

my spies tell me something completely different and I choose to believe them.

You have no listing of your vassals so it is easy to say that Laurentius and Guother are not your vassals.

Oh, and entirely by the way, Merlin is no longer a vassal from you and this is since your ...

Oh Medusa,

you are pretty as the night,
imperishable like weeds,

the stubble on your upper lip reminds me of a burnt down corn field in autumn,
your weird hair glistens in the rain like your nose hair after you sneezed.

And to top it all,
you have the natural grace of an ice skating hippo;
and ...

How about you look on the very first maps I made? Ok, you said they were faked (which they weren´t) but could I fake them that far in advance that Mythor is right? Am I that brilliant? Sadly no. So look at those and see for yourselves.

http://www.angeltowns.com/members/blackadder/maps.html